Let’s revisit August 2009. I went to my boss’ office for a meeting that had been rescheduled. That weekend, I told my husband that I thought I was going to be laid off in that meeting, primarily because my boss had never rescheduled a meeting with me before. As it turns out, I was right.
Despite this thought, I was hurt when I got the news. I cried. I asked why. I asked for a commitment to carry on what I considered the most important of the work I had done for the organization. And I made one comment that I regret.
“I am not worried about me. I will be fine. I am worried about Jonathan.”
I used the baby card. Jonathan was less than a year old at the time. He is still the cutest baby in the world, and the part of me that was hurting wanted to hurt my boss right back. Knowing that my boss (er, former boss) had just adopted three kids of his own, I leaned on my son to inflict any amount of regret that I thought could be possible. I don’t know whether or not it affected him, but it certainly had that effect on me.
I regret making that comment not because it wasn’t true (it was), but because it came from a place intending to hurt and it came from a place of not trusting in God’s provision.
Now, nine months after I was laid off, I am days away from receiving my first paycheck from my new job. Just to see how we did financially over the last few months, I pulled out my bank statement to compare the totals from the day before I was laid off to the day that I found out that I was offered a new job. The difference?
$25.07
Through my severance package, a nice tax return, gifts from family and friends, my small part-time job on Sundays, and a few other sources of income, my household had a net gain of $25.07 over the nine months that I was unemployed.
I was trying to come up with a verse from the Bible to share that would explain God’s provision, but ultimately I couldn’t find a key verse that would do justice to God’s character as revealed in Scripture. Instead, I’ll share a few instances of God’s character being shown through how He interacts with His people. Please don’t just skim these and move on. If you click on the verse, you will be able to read the passage in context:
“The streams of God are filled with water to provide the people with grain. . .” (Psalm 65).
“. . .from your bounty, oh God, you provided for the poor” (Psalm 68).
“He provides food for those who fear Him; he remembers his covenant forever” (Psalm 111).
These verses help paint a picture of who God is. They are snapshots of how He interacts with His people in time, and throughout the Bible we are given opportunities to hear stories of how God provided for specific people who were going through problems individually and as part of a community. Thankfully, His perfect provision allows me to add my story to those that came before us.
